She brought out my inner grey

I've always been a timid person...

Until I met "Em". In university, this vibrant american girl stood out at a house party. Her charm, wittiness, flamboyance, sense of humor were things that I found extremely attractive. Em was a Libra, and I'm a Cancer. On the charts, this is a hit or miss kind of relationship, where Libra's usually tend to demand more freedom/independence, are quite openly flirty and social, while Cancerians are humble, more sensitive and prefer to be out of the spotlight.

We were fun together, but casual nevertheless.

I decided to approach her first, we spoke and had many mutual interests in common, and soon enough I found myself getting her number. Before you know it, we leave to my place and end up watching a movie. She confessed to me that she was only looking for a part-time lover or a FWB. I've never pursued a FWB before, being a good/nice guy and all, this sounded so foreign to me. The thought of using a woman just for sexual encounters was completely something I wasn't accustomed to. I go in for the kiss, and we proceed to have sex. The first time we had sex, it wasn't so great, mainly due to me being so nervous. I had trouble maintaining my erection and then when I did, I came after 3 minutes! But something about her was quite hot, and she felt the same way about me. I'm glad Em had patience with me, because usually I'm nervous on my first sexual encounters, until the chemistry builds up and I start to become myself more. I was crazy about eating Em up, her white smooth skin and blonde hair were major turn-ons, and she always smelled fresh, sort of like a lemon breeze. In-fact, it became a routine, where I wouldn't get turned on unless I gave her oral or unless we had long foreplay sessions. 

Em was wild about sexual experiments and experiences. She told me all of her fantasies (well not all, but most), including: Voyeurism, Threesomes, and Toy-play. Being the timid guy that I usually was in bed, Em confessed to me once that I needed to become more dominate and aggressive with her (or basically, "man the fuck up"). For some reason, the fact that she was so open and honest about what she wanted turned me on even more as I believe that honesty in any relationship is important if you want to develop better chemistry. I'm ALL about pleasing. Em wanted me to pull her hair, spank her ass, bite her nipples, and tease her with my cock while calling her dirty names. Again, this sounded very foreign to me, I've never done anything like that before. We would usually have sex 4 times a day, sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes in the bathtub, maybe next to the window where the neighbors would see, we had no limits or restraints.

I decided to follow her desires of me becoming more dominate, and for the first time I made her orgasm during sex. I asked myself "wow, why was she hiding this all along? Is this what all women desire?" Em was moaning so loud, calling me master, and obeying all of my commands. For the first time, I felt powerful and it felt nice. Em and I decided to try more of her sexual desires. We had sex in the parking lot while it was snowing. I felt extremely nervous, I couldn't hold it up for the first 10 mins, but her blow jobs and comforting words were enough to keep me relaxed. However, I couldn't agree to having the threesome. This disappointed her deeply. One day while I was coming back from class from class,  I found her masturbating to pornography on my laptop. I ended up looking in the history pages (obviously), and it was porno movies involving 4 guys and 1 girl! For some reason, this upset me a lot, because I couldn't imagine the thought of her fucking other guys, even though she wanted me to be part of the experience.

Em: "I'm heartless, don't you get it?"

Truth is, it ended up going downhill from there. I think her sexual desires were quite intense, that even though I fulfilled most of them, I couldn't fulfill all of them. Like previously mentioned, Em had no limits and her sexual desires were eventually too much for me to handle. Em and I broke up and sooner than later she was with someone else. Em told me that she could never feel any emotions, except for sexual ones. Her last words were, "I'm like the kanye west song, heartless". Em truly was a heart breaker, or maybe I was the one who didn't follow the rules (probably the latter). Another favorite quote she had was, "I love them, and then I leave them."

But I learned a valuable life lesson, I became bolder, more confident, less critical about what I should and shouldn't do in the bedroom. I truly believe that in the bedroom, there should be no limits. If a person has desires or things they want, they should be upfront about it with their partners. Men can't read minds, maybe I can, but most men can't. I will say this though, outside of the bedroom, Em was quite elegant, sophisticated, extremely intelligent and someone I respected a lot. I don't entirely blame her for leaving me, but maybe I should have stuck to the rules.

The moral of the story is, 'generally speaking', women love a gentleman outside of the bedroom, and a dominant figure inside the bedroom. Do you agree or disagree?